... But We'll Try Best That We Can To Carry On ...

(Tuesday, July 7, 2015)

This is the most emotionally charged version of Styx's "Come Sail Away" I've ever heard. It struck a vein so deeply I could not stop the flow of bleeding tears.

I was a high-schooler in the last three years of the 1970s. Styx was one of the many bands whose soundtracks filled my reverie – a concert in my head for every occasion. I sought clues in those songs, hoping to end my own struggles in my search for a meaningful life. (I was one of few who had their existential-crisis meltdown before I was old enough to drink legally.)

The course I set sail for back then was rife with a mix of conditions ripe for a perfect storm, which threw me way off course into no-man's land. My endless battles at sea made Jason's battles in "Jason and the Argonauts" look like scenes from Chevy Chase's "Vacation". I'm sure the gifted homeless ex-veteran pianist Donald Gould can relate to my sentiments, and then some.

There's always been a soft spot in my heart for our broken veterans of war. Many of the people I befriended in my early 20s – during my own dance with homelessness – were Vietnam veterans. Some were homeless, others one step away from it. All were mentally and/or physically "damaged". And all had a void in their souls, evidenced by the abyss I saw in their eyes when I caught them drifting off in thought. Also discerned was the deep hurt & betrayal they'd built up after coming home from the war beaten, broken and scarred, only to be rejected and vilified by a seemingly apathetic society. Humans still have not yet discovered the empathy needed to deal with the broken people. We perceive them as weak and we throw them away.

So I got goosebumps as I watched Gould – once a strong marine, now emaciated – give his heart and soul to the music he played so passionately he played on his piano. I lost it immediately upon realizing what song Gould chose to play. "Come Sail Away" was one I could totally relate to. At 51, Gould is old enough to have heard it in its day. I wondered if the song held meaning for him in those innocent days as it did for me.

In my own long and painful journey to the wisdom that maturity brings, I remember clearly the emotions certain songs of my youth evoked. In fact, I found it somewhat therapeutic to listen to those '70s songs. The chronology of my life is meshed within the soundtracks of that musical era. I listen to those songs with wise new ears, trying to pinpoint where it was I lost hope. I try to recapture the spark I lost before the breaking point – before I capsized and lost control.

"Come Sail Away" got heavy play after its 1977 release year on the album "The Grand Illusion". As an invisible sophomore in high school, the song – oh, heck, the whole album – carried me through the choppy waters of high school with its invitation to transcend the daily travails of life and seek that which was greater than ourselves. A drive to and from my high school job was a chance to belt out entire albums with conviction. (Thus, car karaoke was born). I'd sing along loudly, sometimes in awe, sometimes in tears.

Setting sail that first time felt like a challenge we could easily rise to in our vibrant youth. Some of us lost our bearings and got thrown off course for what seemed like a life-time of treading water to stay barely afloat. Some never got back on course. Some perished in their sinking ships. And some of us were lucky enough to jump our sinking ships and emerge with renewed strength. The takeaway here is accepting that we are indeed our own ships' captains. We are the master of our domains. It is only our truths that will steer us if we listen to our internal dead reckoning compass.

The passion with which Donald Gould plays "Come Sail Away" seems to me to be his ode to the acceptance and surrender to life's harsh realities. He's got nothing left to lose, but so much to give the world. So much was taken from him, but his last stand is his inspired musical talent. It's the one thing no one can take from him. His gain is our gain.

I wish Donald Gould the right kind of success during his new-found celebrity. I hope he's not exploited, used up and thrown away by next weekend, when the next "latest internet sensation" materializes. May the wisdom of his songs and his experiences lead him to the peace he seeks and deserves. May his son forgive and embrace him. We should wish this for ourselves, Mr. Gould and every living thing on this planet! Everyone should be allowed the gift of following our own bliss. Safe travels, Mr. Gould. Namasté.